~Aaron~

I’m just reminded of my grandmother who is turning 82 this year. She was at my house for a couple of days for her eye treatment.

I was chatting with sister about her, when she told me some of the conversations that she had with grandmother. One that struck me was the fact that my grandmother is actually ready to… die. “Until 90, I think it’s already enough.” I was just greatly disturbed by her statement although I didn’t hear it first-hand.

It was then that really struck me about life. There are just so many things to learn about life and yet life is short. I tried to reason out her statement: could it be that she’s very contented with the life that she has? It’s logical to accept fate that everyone will die eventually. But why 90? I don’t know if that’s a sign of surrender? Or rather, satisfaction?

Then I imagine myself in her shoe – at 82. How life would be like? Will I be as curious, as questioning, and as intuitive as I was in the days of my youth – or just can’t wait for the days of my life to end? How would life be if you started living alone, when your life partner and close friends die earlier, and your children won’t be able to spend a lot of time with you because of their own personal life demand?

I’ve heard this statement before, and this time, it somehow becomes very real to me now, echoing really loud at me, over, and over, and over again : “Life is short. Live life to its fullest.” I tend to complain and grudge at the small, menial stuff in life. However, the statement now really shuts my big fat mouth.

I appreciate life a little bit more…

I really admire my grandmother for her strong physique despite her age. She can still walk, and has very good memories. I thank God that He has blessed my grandmother with the breath of life. I hope that this will continue for a very, very long time.

Live life to its fullest.

Life has been boring…

But I’m been happily taking everything into my own sweet pace. That’s the most wonderful part! Lounging at my house, listening to music while I’m watching the sky dances, verdant trees and beautiful garden flowers sway, and just fantasise anything that comes to mind. Mind you, my house is not in the forest (unlike what you narrow-minded people would normally think of the house of Sabahans). I’m just lucky enough, unlike you >= P

And there are times when 1 more months ++ become too unbearable…I want to fly!!

Applied for a  part-time tutor post… and it’s been like 3 weeks, and I’m still waiting for their reply…pah! (They are not going to hire me!)

So that leaves me being the part-time domestic engineer of my house – a.k.a  Housewife!! … hmm sounds like I’ve reached my point of desperation willing to do anything, as long as it kills time. Well, this is….ahem…. “Desperate Housewife”. Hehehe. Really! There’s been dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, mopping (..and no, not licking) around the house. All by myself.Alone. Well, for today….gardening! Or maybe, I should learn how to cook from my mum (I don’t know why she seems to be free most of the time. While the rest of the world seems to rush to work, my mum, and dad too, are lazing around the house at times…if not, they’ll go out ‘somewhere’ – they always refuse to tell me where they are going.) or from a book. There had been times where I ‘came up’ with my own ‘recipe’ and it was kinda of….disaster.

With July almost coming to end, I’m kinda worried… about money. JPA is covering a lot of my expenses going to UK, I know. But I still need cover some, like buying my suit, digicam, laptop, perhaps hand phone, winter clothes, etc. (I’m always tempted to buy good but EXPENSIVE stuff….brand-conscious?) Oh ya, making a visa is also damn expensive…RM621!! Flying to KL is also damn EXPENSIVE!!

So, being really on a tight budget somehow deters some activities that enjoy so much. I really wanted to join my friends water rafting at Sg Padas (hey people, when you come to Sabah, make sure you do this!) , but to pay the RM100 fee is financially unfeasible for me (so anyone wants to sponsor me?).. But somehow, I did have some money to watch movies…’War of Worlds’ is very cool. I actually don’t mind watching it again (as long as I’m not the one who forks out the money..show me the money, baby!). 

I wonder if watching ‘Fantastic Four’ is financially worthwhile or not…